Adam has been living in the same house as his grandfather too long.

Seriously.

All my life, any time Reg went out somewhere, there was a good chance that when he got home the words "Look what I picked up on the road" were going to be heard. He still does it. He has brought home all sorts of items over the years. Now Adam is doing the same.

At first it was just little things like a ball he found in the gutter, or a broken centreline cats-eye that had come loose. We have bits of rock floating around the house, and shells and vegetation from the beach. Its common for him to leave the supermarket with recipe leaflets clutched in his fist as though they were gold. But today he really outdid himself.

Today he went off down the park after school to watch the tree trimmers cut and mulch the trees down there. And he came home with a full truckload of wood chips.

I shit you not - there are a couple of cubic metres of bloody woodchips on my front lawn, which will be great for the gardens now the weedspray has done its thing.

I just hope the chips don't heat up and catch fire. But think about it; if this is what he collars at 11, what's he going to be like at 14 or 16?

At least Heather only rummages in the clothing bins after school. I wonder if teaching her to say "bargains, bubby, bargains" when she was a year old has anything to do with it?

Bloody kids, eh...