Main Entry: 1wea�ry
Pronunciation: ‘wir-E
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): wea�ri�er; -est
Etymology: Middle English wery, from Old English wErig; akin to Old High German wuorag intoxicated and perhaps to Greek aOros sleep
1 : exhausted in strength, endurance, vigor, or freshness
2 : expressing or characteristic of weariness
3 : having one’s patience, tolerance, or pleasure exhausted – used with of
4 : WEARISOME

Main Entry: tired
Pronunciation: ‘tIrd
Function: adjective
1 : drained of strength and energy : fatigued often to the point of exhaustion
2 : obviously worn by hard use : RUN-DOWN
3 : TRITE, HACKNEYED
- tired�ly adverb
- tired�ness noun

Its after midnight and I have just got up again. I cant sleep, you see. And so yes, its late and I am tired. But worse than tired, I am weary.

We tend to use these two words interchangably, tired and weary but they aren’t quite the same thing if you look at their dictionary definitions; one is more physical, the other more spiritual/emotional/psychological.

It feels like it’s been a long day and whilst I haven’t accomplished anything of note, the kids and I did enjoy a trip to the Cans Film Festival tonight at Cinema 8, where we saw the movie Garfield. It was a good outing - the movie was good, the kids were both happy to sit in the same theatre, and best of all was Adam saying as the movie started how neat it was that we were having a family outing. And with that outing alone, I did too much and tired myself out. It’s worth it to hear Adam say he was enjoying himself, even if it reinforces the guilt of how little I can accomplish in my role as sole parent.

And I grow weary of the guilt pushed onto me for something I cannot change. I grow weary of the constant sensate assault as the perceived temperature of my left leg fluctuates from a too-hot shower to a crematorium oven in an endless waxing and waning loop of mental and physical pain. I grow weary of always doing less, having less, being less when thrust into occasions of social intercourse. I feel I live on the edge of a spiritual depletion, often unsupported by those who would ask of me the most. And through it all I am expected to accept, nay embrace this emotional and physical inequality.

Who needs that shit?

My sense in the existence of a power greater than myself has been restored somewhat this week by the finding of my long lost friend Tobi, who starred briefly very early on in my blogging career. She has been out of touch and lost for well over a year and with her precarious health, I feared that she was dead and I would never know. Well, I found Tobi again this week and had all my fears laid to rest.

God IS good - She might have taken our health, but She gave us something back - a friendship of huge understanding between two people that spans the globe and led us both to search for the other.

A cyber-friendship of understanding and respect? Or a real life(sic) friendship, where I feel misunderstood, confused and hurt?

Is there a comparison?

This is a picture of my Nushie dog, painted from a photograph by a dear friend in Auckland.

A cyber-friend.

An original by the lovely Jo White.



There are all sorts of people in this world - the blessing of this era in history is the emergence of a new way of relating. And having people in your face doesn’t have to feature in the mix. Total acceptance comes in many forms and not always from those who know one best.

Life’s funny that way.

“Bow down before the greatness of the Holy Cat Nip Bud”