This is an oldie but a goodie:

A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane. The woman sneezes, takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose, and shudders quite violently in her seat.

The man isn’t sure why she is shuddering and goes back to reading.

A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders quite violently in her seat.

The man is becoming more and more curious about the shuddering.

A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders violently again.

The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the woman and says, “Three times you’ve sneezed and three times you’ve taken a tissue and wiped your nose then shuddered violently! Are you sending me signals, or are you going crazy?”

The woman replies, “I’m sorry if I disturbed you. I have a rare condition and when I sneeze, I have an orgasm.”

The man, now feeling a little embarrassed but even more curious says, “I’ve never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?”

The woman looks at him and says, “Pepper.”

If the legends are to be believed, this poor woman could have just as easily been on Prozac (and other SSRIs including Paxil) as have a strange disease. She would still have needed the pepper, though.

Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t really find I get off on sneezing, you know? In fact, I mentioned this little known fact about sneezing and a “prozac” orgasmic response to MY doc when I heard about it and he laughed when I complained that it wasn’t fair that I never got any of the good side effects :-(

So, anyway, I came across this wee site here today. It’s really interesting. It’s about the “Orgasmatron", a device which doesn’t give women orgasms, it just gets the body to a pre-orgasmic state ready to have an orgasm when the right conditions apply.

I guess that’s any time she has a pulse, if she is at all normal. You would have to be pretty fucking ABnormal (’scuse the pun) not to want to have sex. Wouldn’t you?

Anyway, if you are concerned at how long you have left to have your orgasms, check out the DeathClock. I’d hate you to run out of time or anything.

BRB, just gotta go put the batteries on charge…