Why are words of love so round, susurrant, so soft and gentle when words of hatred are so clipped and pointed with the sibilance of a snake?

Have you ever noticed that?

kiss; caress; cherish; treasure; nourish.... revenge; hate; vengeance; destroy; detest

Hmmm... oh well.

Blue crabs have 10 legs. They are 5 inches wide at sexual maturity. In a bad year, 48 million pounds are harvested from the Chesapeake.

That's a lot of crab cakes.

Blue crab gender can be determined by the shape of their apron. Yes, folks, boy blue crabs wear them too. The ladies wear a nice rounded apron upon their undercarriage (mind you, she could be carrying up to 8 million eggs under there) whilst the boys have a T shaped one.

How unusual, girls are round, boys are pointy, but at least these boys are wearing a pinny.

Lots of creatures go through a sharp, physical metamorphosis as they grow. Crabs do it too. Every so often they "moult". During the moult they throw off their old shell and replace it with a new soft one that hardens into a tough, protective covering. When they have shed this old exoskeleton they become what is known as a sook for the next 2 - 4 days.

Sooks are all soft and squishy, they need to harden up.

Before new crabbies can be born, the big ones have to get it on together, so before they first make love the bloke has to get up close and personal with a nice mature lady and when he finds her he cradles her in his legs and carries her for several days while searching for place to consummate their love, and here he guards her during her final moult. They are finally joined in soggy matrimony when she becomes all soft and sooky. He continues to hold her for a few more days until she toughens up and doesn't need him any more, when they part company.

Once it has hardened, their new shell does not change size but the squishy crabs inside continue to grow into all the nooks and crannies of their new abode; they grow and grow until they are bursting at the seams and then they do it all over again.

A bit like people whose lives undergo enormous change, really.

No wonder Im crabby; its almost moulting time.

Almost...

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A little crab humour to send you on your way :-)

Declan the humble crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and passionately in Love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Declan in tears.

"We can't see each other anymore...." she sobbed.

"Why?" gasped Declan.

"Daddy says crabs are too common," she wailed. "He claims you, a mere crab, and a poor one at that, are the lowest class of crustacean... and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can only walk sideways."

Declan was shattered, and scuttled sidewards away into the darkness and to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion. That night, the great Lobster Ball was taking place. Lobsters came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's side, inconsolable.

Suddenly the doors burst open, and Declan the crab strode in. The Lobsters all stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped and the King Lobster rose from his throne. Slowly, painstakingly, Declan the crab made his way across the floor...and all could see that he was walking not sideways, but FORWARDS, one claw after another!

Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he finally looked King Lobster in the eye. There was a deadly hush. Finally, the crab spoke...


"Fuck, I'm pissed."