I swear to God I am gonna become an atheist. I'll be in excellent company.

Nothing like hedging your bets, hmmm?

I want to be an atheist because a nice God wouldn't give pigs 30 minute orgasms instead of us.

I want to be an atheist because a thoughtful God wouldn't make the beach so difficult to walk on with all that loose sand and grasses and shit. Or make it so far from the carpark.

I want to be an atheist because a cool God wouldn't have made paisley fabric. And make it "trendy". Not even for 5 minutes [note: God just might be a bloke after all, I mean, can you see a woman designing that crap?].

See? as if this weren't fugly enough,



now look at what they've gone and done.



I want to be an atheist because a groovy God would give me a better stereo and speakers.
Biiig muthas.
Like these.



I want to be an atheist because a humane God wouldn't have given me mumps 5 times as a child and then revisit me with the symptoms 30 years later. Like right now.

I want to be an atheist because a nurturing God would have given me Gary Sinise to play with.



The Real Thing, not a poster ya muppet. He's another one of those tortured actors. Yummy.

I'm gonna become an atheist so I can just blame it all on God for not actually existing in the first place.

Bejaysus, I love that twisted Irish logic.

How's that for a Black Friday post - I never mentioned bad luck (unless you own one of those ties, in which case it's too damn late anyway), road accidents (aka shitting oneself at Domain Rd corner at peak hour at twilight tonight), ladders (it's lying on the ground - only the mice can get under it), black cats (even though Lulu walked over my nice clean car with muddy feet this morning) or any other superstitiously stupid ideas about bad luck on a day that was not traditionally considered evil or unlucky.

Well, so this site says. This site says otherwise. Hey, I didn't even whine out loud about not having Gary Sinise. I'll do that another night.

I think I'll have a beer instead, a nice Old Dark. Very fitting.

"By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes" - Bill S, MacBeth.