I'm on sabbatical. I've gone to Barbados to lie in the hot sun in my bikini, drink pina coladas and have fabulous sex with the pool boy 5 times a day.

Here we are on the beach



OK, so I tell a lie; that's not really the pool boy, he was asleep gathering strength for the evening shift, but it IS the beach.

Nah, seriously, I'm out on sick leave and I'll be back when I get a bit better. And all this time you thought I was already sick...