The chickens have laid the marshmallow eggs that hatched into little, foil-wrapped hot crossed bunnies; kids are licking their lips in anticipation of a chocolate and marshmallow overload and their parents are figuring out new and more innovative hiding places for traditional egg hunt goodies destined to be discovered by wannebe-sticky fingers and faces attached to the small (and not so small) 2-legged hyenas. Well, those that give a shit are, the rest of us just nipped off down the Red Shed for a load of crap and left it in the bag it came in.

Yes, it's that special time of year again - you know, the Spring festival of Oestre, Goddess of Spring.

Even though it's actually autumn.

The Christians nicked her holiday and called it Easter. I guess they had to do something to get the heathens attention at this time of year.

The Christian Easter is a calculated event that occurs based on an archaic regimentation as laid down by Emperor Constantine's Council of Nicaea in 325AD. They decided that Easter should fall on the Sunday following the first full moon after the vernal equinox. (The moment at which the sun passes through the vernal equinox, about March 21, marking the beginning of spring in the Northern Hemisphere). But fixing up the date of the Equinox was still a problem so the task of figuring this out was given to the Alexandrians ,who were noted for their rich knowledge in astronomical calculations. March 21 was decided as being the perfect date for spring equinox. The dating of Easter today follows the same. Therefore, churches in the West observe it on the first day of the full moon that occurs on or following the Spring equinox on March 21. It became a mobile feast located somewhere between March 21 and April 25.

Good Friday is the day they strung that guy Jesus up on the cross. Here he is, as immortalised by the wonderful Monty Python team, just hanging around with his mates and looking on the bright side:


They appear to be having a jolly good chat. I wonder what they were talking about? Maybe they had been and done the Monty Python character quiz at this link. It wasn't very satisfying - it said I was French. Maybe you can do better.


French Guard: - I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king-a?!

We did organise an Easter egg hunt for Heather once, when she was little. We bought all these little bits and pieces and hid them all around the garden for her to find and she raced around shrieking "Look what Peter Rabbit left me!". Yes, indeed, we even managed to warp the character of the Easter Bunny into a thieving cony, a la Beatrix Potter (and not a hobbit in sight).

Gardening became much more rewarding for several months after that.

Sorry, no jokes about receding harelines this time around.

Or harespray.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me"