:: Sunday, November 06, 2005
Old bangers
No, this post isn't about Mark's birthday party last night (but it could have been), it's about Guy Fawkes and his being caught playing with explosives on November 5th.
Back in 1605, Mary Queen of Scots little boy James was King of both England and Scotland and not everyone thought he was marvellous. Sort of comes with the territory when a King or Queen, really. Anyway, some good 'ol Catholic boys got together and hatched a plot (the Gunpowder Plot) to kill the King and remove a few Lords from the gene pool and one of them was Guy Fawkes (aka Guido Fawkes/Faukes) who ended up taking the fall after one of the conspirators lost the plot and dobbed them in to a bloke called Lord Monteagle and poor old Guy was caught red handed in the basement of the House of Lords. Instead of getting the bang of his wet dreams letting off 2.5 ton of gunpowder, he got a few days of torture (courstesy of special permission of the King) before being hung, drawn and quartered at Westminster 3 months later.
Bit of a bummer all round, really.
Anyway, for the past 400 years this momentous day has been celebrated by the letting off of explosive devices. Some seem to think it's celebrating his failure as an anarchist, I prefer to think we celebrate his attempting to to a good deed for the world and blow up a monarch and a few politicos. Rich, Landed Gentry types of politicos.
Unfortunately, technology and commercialism have sort of taken over and now children as young as 14 are able to purchase these cheap and nasty mini(and not so mini)-weapons for 10 days before the event, and drive society mad using them inappropriately, burn down houses and blow up family pets. Wowsers People all over are calling for a ban on personal firework sales and outlawing them in private hands.
And I think that is really dumb.
Instead of legislating for the lowest common denominator (ie stupid little bastards with no brains born of lousy, dumb fuck parents) they should change the way they are marketed, restrict the age of those that can buy them and ONLY SELL THEM FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS instead of ruining the fun of all those people who aren't irresponsible, whose kids aren't brain-dead morons and just want to have a bit of fun in the back yard.
We always had them when I was a kid. Every year (up to about 10 or so when we moved) the man over the road would stockpile his timber in his front paddock and everyone from miles around made a Guy to put on the bonfire and families all rocked up with our bags and boxes of fireworks and we all let them off around the paddock and as far as I can remember no one ever got badly hurt. Funny, that. Kids + fireworks + responsible parents = bloody good time had by all. Maybe our Double Happies and Tom Thumbs weren't as sophisticated then as this rubbish offered for sale now, but at least they worked as intended, didn't crap out and malfunction and were hugely enjoyed in a safe, supervised environment. Watching the big organised fireworks displays on offer now just ain't a patch on that.
Oh, and if they can forbid the selling of decent skyrockets and the aforementioned Double Happies and Tom Thumbs, they can ban the importation and sale of these cannon fireworks, too. Easy peasy.
The whole issue isn't about safety (or not) of fireworks, it's about responsibility or lack thereof of the dipshit parents who (usually) give their kids money to buy them and then don't bother to supervise them, teach acceptable handling or respect and care for other people and their pets. It's a shame they don't blow their heads off instead of just their fingers and hands - that would be Natural Selection at it's very finest.
And as for the wussy "my cat/dog/bird/rabbit/guinea pig is terrified" people, I have 2 cats and a dog from all walks of animal life and none of them give a crap about all the noise and fireworks smoke emanating from the neighbours and the park right below. Wussy people = wussy pets. **YAWN** Lock them up safe if you have to and then you won't lose them, but don't try to ban MY fun cos your pets don't like it.
There, that's my rant say on the issue.
PS the kids make acetyline bombs down at the bridge all year round. Ho hum. 
Back in 1605, Mary Queen of Scots little boy James was King of both England and Scotland and not everyone thought he was marvellous. Sort of comes with the territory when a King or Queen, really. Anyway, some good 'ol Catholic boys got together and hatched a plot (the Gunpowder Plot) to kill the King and remove a few Lords from the gene pool and one of them was Guy Fawkes (aka Guido Fawkes/Faukes) who ended up taking the fall after one of the conspirators lost the plot and dobbed them in to a bloke called Lord Monteagle and poor old Guy was caught red handed in the basement of the House of Lords. Instead of getting the bang of his wet dreams letting off 2.5 ton of gunpowder, he got a few days of torture (courstesy of special permission of the King) before being hung, drawn and quartered at Westminster 3 months later.
Bit of a bummer all round, really.
Anyway, for the past 400 years this momentous day has been celebrated by the letting off of explosive devices. Some seem to think it's celebrating his failure as an anarchist, I prefer to think we celebrate his attempting to to a good deed for the world and blow up a monarch and a few politicos. Rich, Landed Gentry types of politicos.
Unfortunately, technology and commercialism have sort of taken over and now children as young as 14 are able to purchase these cheap and nasty mini(and not so mini)-weapons for 10 days before the event, and drive society mad using them inappropriately, burn down houses and blow up family pets. Wowsers People all over are calling for a ban on personal firework sales and outlawing them in private hands.
And I think that is really dumb.
Instead of legislating for the lowest common denominator (ie stupid little bastards with no brains born of lousy, dumb fuck parents) they should change the way they are marketed, restrict the age of those that can buy them and ONLY SELL THEM FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS instead of ruining the fun of all those people who aren't irresponsible, whose kids aren't brain-dead morons and just want to have a bit of fun in the back yard.
We always had them when I was a kid. Every year (up to about 10 or so when we moved) the man over the road would stockpile his timber in his front paddock and everyone from miles around made a Guy to put on the bonfire and families all rocked up with our bags and boxes of fireworks and we all let them off around the paddock and as far as I can remember no one ever got badly hurt. Funny, that. Kids + fireworks + responsible parents = bloody good time had by all. Maybe our Double Happies and Tom Thumbs weren't as sophisticated then as this rubbish offered for sale now, but at least they worked as intended, didn't crap out and malfunction and were hugely enjoyed in a safe, supervised environment. Watching the big organised fireworks displays on offer now just ain't a patch on that.
Oh, and if they can forbid the selling of decent skyrockets and the aforementioned Double Happies and Tom Thumbs, they can ban the importation and sale of these cannon fireworks, too. Easy peasy.
The whole issue isn't about safety (or not) of fireworks, it's about responsibility or lack thereof of the dipshit parents who (usually) give their kids money to buy them and then don't bother to supervise them, teach acceptable handling or respect and care for other people and their pets. It's a shame they don't blow their heads off instead of just their fingers and hands - that would be Natural Selection at it's very finest.
And as for the wussy "my cat/dog/bird/rabbit/guinea pig is terrified" people, I have 2 cats and a dog from all walks of animal life and none of them give a crap about all the noise and fireworks smoke emanating from the neighbours and the park right below. Wussy people = wussy pets. **YAWN** Lock them up safe if you have to and then you won't lose them, but don't try to ban MY fun cos your pets don't like it.
There, that's my rant say on the issue.
PS the kids make acetyline bombs down at the bridge all year round. Ho hum.
Some content included in this site has been liberated at (and from) great peril from the internet. Where possible, credit or a link has been given or is marked as "Unknown", except for jokes - I don't make up jokes. All other content comes straight from the Brain of Moi. I reserve the right to retain ownership of my own drivel :-)
2002 - 2005
