No, not me; my sister. She's a lot older than me, you understand. Way, way older. Like 3.5 years. She doesn't like birthdays and she is very hard to buy presents for, so this year I thought I would give her something very dear to my heart.

No, not my computer fool,I can't live without that. I'm giving her my kids.

I just know she will grow to detest them as much as me when they start fighting over the television, the computer, the remote, the couch/chair (with Nushie thrown in to even up the weight distribution), the front seat of the car. That's what sisters are for, to torture and torment. She might have a huge headstart on me, but I'm catching up.

Someone is going to die - if I'm very, very lucky it might just be me.

Happy birthday Rae, I'm still wrapping your present.


... I wonder if she'll even let them in the Merc...?