Last September, the electric jug upstairs blew up. Shit happens. At the time, the RedShed had these Brio jugs on sale so I went and bought a replacement for upstairs and one for us, too. I put our good old (still working) Kambrook jug in the cupboard for a spare. Hell, you never know when it's going to come in handy, right?

In February, the jug upstairs blew up. It was 5 months old. I lent Reg the old one out of the cupboard. Unfortunately, despite being told over and over again that I keep receipts for returns purposes, Reg still pulled the buggered jug apart to "see if it was fixable" *rolls eyes* so it was no longer a candidate for replacement under warranty. Three days later, our Brio blew up, too.

I wasn't very impressed.

So, I took my blown one into the RedShed, receipt in hand and was given a replacement. Sweet. Not as good as a refund, but better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick (who comes UP with these little homilies?). I kept the receipt, of course.

A couple of days ago, after only 5 months, the replacement for the original Brio refused to turn off. This has, of course, greater implications than merely going pop-fizzz and remaining frigid no matter what stimulation is applied, being housefire-starter fodder and all that. Reg says "oh we bought a new jug last week because your old Kambrook finally died". OK, so that wasn't under warranty, but it was nearly 10 years old as well- it don't owe me anything and no, I no longer have the receipt for that - whaddya think I am, paranoid? Three strikes and you're out, so I offs to Fraser Cove again to chat to the lovely lady behind the returns desk. I said that my jug didn't work properly, and that it was a replacement for the first one that stopped working and that I would like my money back, please. I got my money no problem at all.

Then we went to Briscoe's and bought.... yeah, a new Kambrook. Cos they were on speshul. And they last longer than 5 fucking months - lots longer. On the way home, Adam had the jug in its box down by his knees and was being silly and stroking the box. Without thinking, I cracked up and said "it's just as well I didn't buy 2 of them, cos then you'd be stroking Mummy's jugs and that would be soooooooo wrong".

OK, so maybe you had to be there....

Anyway, you have been warned - don't buy Brio jugs from the Warehouse because they are C_R_A_P and never buy them in pairs and let people stroke them.