I have a sore throat and a sore chest and my nose is all stuffed up and I'm sitting here with chicken-flavoured rice crackers and a drink of milk reading this. Where the hell was I when this site was gaining a huge following across the globe?

It's the Secret Diaries of Cassandra Claire and it's been keeping me amused for a couple of hours now.

Excerpt:

THE SECRET DIARY OF ARAGORN SON OF ARATHORN
Day 30:
In Lothlorien. Think Galadriel was hitting on me. Saucy wench.

Nice chat with Boromir. He's not so bad.
Took a shower. Yay!
But still not King.

Day 32:
Orcs killed: none. Stubble update: subtly hairy.

Legolas told me that a shadow and a threat had been growing in his mind.

I think Legolas might be kinda gay.

Nope, not King.

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THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF SAMWISE GAMGEE
Day Eight:

Off to Mordor. Other members of Fellowship v. dodgy if you ask me. Especially Boromir. "Teaching Merry and Pippin how to sword-fight" my Aunt Lobelia. Obviously pervy hobbit-fancier who likes to roll around with small men in shorts.

Day Nine:

Aragorn just as pervy as Boromir. Obviously fancies Mr. Frodo. Will kill him if he tries anything.

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THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF PEREGRINE TOOK
DAY NINE

Sam all wrong about Boromir. Really very nice man. Invited me to go for a walk with him tonight and said he would let me blow his Horn of Gondor. Can't wait.

Later that night

Always thought blowing the Horn of Gondor was supposed to summon armies of the West?

Apparently not.

V. educational, all the same.

DAY ELEVEN

V. dark in mines of Moria. Still sort of a relief as means Boromir cannot corner me and complain how Aragorn is insensitive, stuck up git with hobbit fixation. Pot calling kettle black if you ask me. Aragorn obviously way into Frodo, however. Sam will kill him if he tries anything.

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You don't have to be a complete LOTR nut to get a giggle

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ôôô This excerpt was lifeted completely without permission of it's owners, but hell, I gotta do something to drag you there ;-P) ôôô