Why is toothpaste blue in the tube and white when you brush your teeth?

Why do I get red lights all the way down Cameron Rd when I'm running late and green ones when I'm already early?

Why is Murphy's Law called that when it's way older than Murphy himself and why take the piss out of the Irish anyway? We can do that for ourselves, thank you very much.

Why can the cat manage to go out the window, but can't come back in again? I mean, helloooooo, the window is still bloody open.

Why do the dogs wait until they are right under your chair or in the car before they fart their smelliest farts? Don't tell me it's cos they love us.

Why does the back-up battery in the alarm clock never actually work when the power goes out? And why does the power only seem to go out AFTER you have gone to sleep anyway?

Why do our kids treat us like we are as stupid as they are? I mean, it's not like we did that to OUR parents or anything...

Why is "truncate" such a long word, when abbreviating it to "shorten" or reducing it to cut would ax the time it took to write it by elephantine proportions? (You gotta be sharp at midnight to think that one up. Has anyone got a Band-Aid?)

WHY THE HELL DID I HAVE CHILDREN???

The answers to these questions (and others I haven't thought of yet) will not be published in the next rivetting installment of "What's in your lunchbox today?".

I'll give you another stupid pic to look at instead :-)