:: Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Old Time Rock'n'Roll
The Real McCoy
Heather is turning 15 in just a few more days. 
Heather is turning 15 in just a few more days.
:: Monday, December 26, 2005
Epilogue
The kids are home. Bitching, fighting, whining and yelling the little shits are definitely home.
Heather made quite good use of her spending money and bought thoughtful gifts for people for their christmas presents. Adam didn't bother much. Oh, he spent his money alright, but it's very hard to see where it went and it's certainly not demonstrated in the utter shit he scraped togther for my present - a fart pen and a bumper sticker.
But he did manage to spend $70 on a pair of Chuck Taylors for himself. Twat.
Next time he wants something financed he can go take a running jump.
Heather made quite good use of her spending money and bought thoughtful gifts for people for their christmas presents. Adam didn't bother much. Oh, he spent his money alright, but it's very hard to see where it went and it's certainly not demonstrated in the utter shit he scraped togther for my present - a fart pen and a bumper sticker.
But he did manage to spend $70 on a pair of Chuck Taylors for himself. Twat.
Next time he wants something financed he can go take a running jump.
:: Sunday, December 25, 2005
Day Ten, moving again
I'ts Happy HoHo day. Hopefully you didn't fuck Santa off too much and he brought you something not too obnoxious to the senses for Chrissie. We at Fourth Chapter Inc would like to wish you glad tidings, especially those from whom we extracted a bit of urine.
Rudolph, who has been resident downunder for the past 6 years, would like to wish you a Joyous Christmas too, only he's a Swedish Reindeer and doesn't speak da lingo.
Come to think of it, I don't think I've heard him speak any lingo. I think he's feeling a bit flat.
Well, the kids are on their way home, due to land in about half an hour (12.35am). I hope they had a good flight; Heather was awful bitchy just before they took off.
Rudolph, who has been resident downunder for the past 6 years, would like to wish you a Joyous Christmas too, only he's a Swedish Reindeer and doesn't speak da lingo.
Come to think of it, I don't think I've heard him speak any lingo. I think he's feeling a bit flat.
Well, the kids are on their way home, due to land in about half an hour (12.35am). I hope they had a good flight; Heather was awful bitchy just before they took off.
:: Saturday, December 24, 2005
Day Eight, one more day to wait
Finally, after all this time, I am getting my holiday.
OK, so I have to condense it into an afternoon, but 5 hours of summer's day and Clapton, beer in one hand an doob in the other with the house to myself is better than 12 days of boredom.
I mean, how many beers and doobs can one consume in 12 days and not look like a lush?
The kids are having a rest and packing day, ready to fly out tomorrow night at 6pm Oz time. Just as well, Adam woke up blistered with sunburn early this morning. Last heard, he was wearing a fetching shade of aloe vera and suppping on nurophen and was quite happy. Heather says it's not as bad as when that stupid Open Homes woman took them to the beach and didn't put any block on them, so that's a good thing.
He's a sensitive mini-bloke, just like his Mummy.
OK, so I have to condense it into an afternoon, but 5 hours of summer's day and Clapton, beer in one hand an doob in the other with the house to myself is better than 12 days of boredom.
I mean, how many beers and doobs can one consume in 12 days and not look like a lush?
The kids are having a rest and packing day, ready to fly out tomorrow night at 6pm Oz time. Just as well, Adam woke up blistered with sunburn early this morning. Last heard, he was wearing a fetching shade of aloe vera and suppping on nurophen and was quite happy. Heather says it's not as bad as when that stupid Open Homes woman took them to the beach and didn't put any block on them, so that's a good thing.
He's a sensitive mini-bloke, just like his Mummy.
:: Friday, December 23, 2005
Day seven, kids are in Heaven
The kids had a bit different day today, they went out with Tigger for a while and she took them to the beach. They haven't seen Tig in over a year, since she moved to Australia.
Heather is wearing a gypsy skirt which she must have been pleased to acquire (she's been nagging me to buy her one forever) wearing what is left of her chestnut hair dye (most of it washed out at Wet n Wild, she spent so much time in the water)
and the lucky tart found $20 in the surf (of all places).
Here are Heather, Jazzy and Jake, Deena and Adam on the balcony of their apartment. Nothing like a sea view to start the day!
and one with the amazing Tig ;-)
Heather is wearing a gypsy skirt which she must have been pleased to acquire (she's been nagging me to buy her one forever) wearing what is left of her chestnut hair dye (most of it washed out at Wet n Wild, she spent so much time in the water)
and the lucky tart found $20 in the surf (of all places).
Here are Heather, Jazzy and Jake, Deena and Adam on the balcony of their apartment. Nothing like a sea view to start the day!
and one with the amazing Tig ;-)
:: Thursday, December 22, 2005
Day Six, it's water tricks
Today they went to Wet n Wild and everyone got sunburnt despite bulk sunhats and lashings of sunblock. Ads spent most of his time floating around in a rubber ring in the lagoon. The kids went shopping and bought most of their Xmas pressies for everyone and Adam tried to con Deena that the remote controlled car he has chosen was not a remote controlled car but a "model". Bummed out there buddy, it wasn't gonna wash.
Deena is taking Adam to the night markets tonight to finish his Xmas shopping. They are all very tired.
Deena is taking Adam to the night markets tonight to finish his Xmas shopping. They are all very tired.
:: Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Day Five, they're all still alive
Today they went to Movieworld and rode some big rides. Heather did the "Lethal Weapon - Deena says H is now a convert to scary rides.
Adam was wussy and snivelled for a while and then finally got into the thrill and was sweet. By the end he was WAHOOOing like mad. Heather enjoyed shopping at the Harry Potter store and Jen is going to benefit from that ;-)
Jake fell in Deena's aunt's pool when they went visiting and Adam fished him out. I think Ads has found his true vocation as a rescue worker - he's getting lots of practice this week!
Four more days until they fly home.
Adam was wussy and snivelled for a while and then finally got into the thrill and was sweet. By the end he was WAHOOOing like mad. Heather enjoyed shopping at the Harry Potter store and Jen is going to benefit from that ;-)
Jake fell in Deena's aunt's pool when they went visiting and Adam fished him out. I think Ads has found his true vocation as a rescue worker - he's getting lots of practice this week!
Four more days until they fly home.
:: Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Day Four in Times of Yore
Today they went to a place where you dress up in old fashioned gear and get ya pictoor took.
These came by pxt, hence the quality.
Deena was going to dye Heather's hair this afternoon... chestnut I think.
These came by pxt, hence the quality.
Deena was going to dye Heather's hair this afternoon... chestnut I think.
:: Monday, December 19, 2005
Day Three in the Land of the Free
Not sure what they did today, only heard about going to Dreamworld.
Deena said the kids wimped out of the tough rides, but that's ok cos who wants vomitous kids??
Deena said the kids wimped out of the tough rides, but that's ok cos who wants vomitous kids??
:: Sunday, December 18, 2005
Day Two in the Land of the Roo
Today's highlights:
Heather got a fake tattoo (cos she is NOT allowed a real one)
Adam got his ear pierced and didn't cry
Deena lost Adam for 10 minutes and found him again (bugger) on a large toy digger (how unusual)
Heather got a fake tattoo (cos she is NOT allowed a real one)
Adam got his ear pierced and didn't cry
Deena lost Adam for 10 minutes and found him again (bugger) on a large toy digger (how unusual)
:: Saturday, December 17, 2005
Fly
In 5 and a half hours (at 6.30am), the kids are due to take off from Auckland airport for their trip to the Gold Coast. That is if they haven't driven Deena crackers and she refuses to take them.
They didn't have a very good day, today (yesterday). They started smacking each other around and Ads rang bawling his eyes out because he had hit H and hurt her after she smacked him in the head yada yada say no more. They were only left alone for an hour, for God's sake.
Just another day in the lives of the Gruesome Twosome. After a considerable tune up of both, peace once more reigned and it was all over.
Until the next time...
Fuck, I am so stressed out over the kids trip that this is anything but a holiday for me. I'd rather they were home with me and not creating stress 10 times worse than what they usually do. They're already homesick, H is scared of public places, Ads is scared of the plane ride and being so far from home, I'm scared Adam will get too hot and his migraines will blow everything out of the water and the whole trip will turn to utter custard.
I should have said they can't go.
UPDATE:
I got a txt this morning just after they landed to say all was well and the kids were fine. Got a phone call this evening to say all was well and kids were fine, Adam already had his first migraine in the heat but didn't say anything until he was pulled up for bitching at his sister and said "my bloody head hurts". A few tablets, a cold drink and a sleep for an hour or 2 and it cleared up enough to all decamp for Draculas for the Saturday show. Then they went shopping for essentials and carried it all them a couple of blocks from where the bus stopped in 31° heat. Now they are all set to lax back and watch dvd's cos it's stinking hot and they've already had a very loooooong day.
Tomorrow: if sunny, laxing and hitting the markets; if cloudy hitting one of the theme parks.
PS
Fatima has arrived and is here in the building for the next five weeks.
Oh Joy ;-)
They didn't have a very good day, today (yesterday). They started smacking each other around and Ads rang bawling his eyes out because he had hit H and hurt her after she smacked him in the head yada yada say no more. They were only left alone for an hour, for God's sake.
Just another day in the lives of the Gruesome Twosome. After a considerable tune up of both, peace once more reigned and it was all over.
Until the next time...
Fuck, I am so stressed out over the kids trip that this is anything but a holiday for me. I'd rather they were home with me and not creating stress 10 times worse than what they usually do. They're already homesick, H is scared of public places, Ads is scared of the plane ride and being so far from home, I'm scared Adam will get too hot and his migraines will blow everything out of the water and the whole trip will turn to utter custard.
I should have said they can't go.
UPDATE:
I got a txt this morning just after they landed to say all was well and the kids were fine. Got a phone call this evening to say all was well and kids were fine, Adam already had his first migraine in the heat but didn't say anything until he was pulled up for bitching at his sister and said "my bloody head hurts". A few tablets, a cold drink and a sleep for an hour or 2 and it cleared up enough to all decamp for Draculas for the Saturday show. Then they went shopping for essentials and carried it all them a couple of blocks from where the bus stopped in 31° heat. Now they are all set to lax back and watch dvd's cos it's stinking hot and they've already had a very loooooong day.
Tomorrow: if sunny, laxing and hitting the markets; if cloudy hitting one of the theme parks.
PS
Fatima has arrived and is here in the building for the next five weeks.
Oh Joy ;-)
:: Thursday, December 15, 2005
So sad
Taking pictures of sunsets is really naff.
But I do it anyway.
And then I post them on my blog so you can see how truly sad I am.
I was going to start painting the hallway tonight, but by the time I dug the dropsheets out of the bottom of the junk cupboard and put all the junk back into the cupboard and taken the Ghost Ship poster down, and the picture of Nushie, the big Coke sign and unscrewed the noticeboard after sorting and repinning all the contents I was knackered. Maybe I'll paint tomorrow night instead.
Today I even talked Muzz into painting all the high bits if I get stuck. It wasn't hard, the sad git likes bloody painting.
I think he likes sunset pictures too.
That is really sad.
But I do it anyway.
And then I post them on my blog so you can see how truly sad I am.
I was going to start painting the hallway tonight, but by the time I dug the dropsheets out of the bottom of the junk cupboard and put all the junk back into the cupboard and taken the Ghost Ship poster down, and the picture of Nushie, the big Coke sign and unscrewed the noticeboard after sorting and repinning all the contents I was knackered. Maybe I'll paint tomorrow night instead.
Today I even talked Muzz into painting all the high bits if I get stuck. It wasn't hard, the sad git likes bloody painting.
I think he likes sunset pictures too.
That is really sad.
:: Wednesday, December 14, 2005
A big "if"
If someone had told Ed Hillary at five years old that one day he would be the first man to the top of Mt Everest, do you think he would have thought it possible?
Did Mikolaj Kopernik look up at the stars as a child and say "I am going to redefine astronomy and be famous forever as Nicolaus Copernicus?
D'you think Paul Hewson realised at 5 that one day he would be so famous and so popular as Bono that people scalping tickets to his concerts would have death wished upon them?
And if someone had told Stanley Tookie Williams that he would spend half of his life in jail for murder before finally being executed 24 years later, would he have cared?
He found Nirvana on the end of a lethal injection yesterday. Was he punished once, or punished twice? I'm not sure that I'm against the death penalty in cases where guilt is unquestionable, but I think spending years on death row is a bit extreme. And think of all the sick people, the homeless people the money wasted on these lowlives could help if put into health and social care of people who actually deserve a chance to live.
How do people end up where they do? I mean, if you are born a Royal or a Kennedy, well that's just a horrible defect of birth, innit, but if you are a poor kid from the wrong side of Nowhere, how do you get to become someone worthy of going down in the annals of history (even if it's just for going down).
Noteworthy or notorious, Fate deals some interesting cards sometimes hmmm. I mean, how did you get where you are?
Did Mikolaj Kopernik look up at the stars as a child and say "I am going to redefine astronomy and be famous forever as Nicolaus Copernicus?
D'you think Paul Hewson realised at 5 that one day he would be so famous and so popular as Bono that people scalping tickets to his concerts would have death wished upon them?
And if someone had told Stanley Tookie Williams that he would spend half of his life in jail for murder before finally being executed 24 years later, would he have cared?
He found Nirvana on the end of a lethal injection yesterday. Was he punished once, or punished twice? I'm not sure that I'm against the death penalty in cases where guilt is unquestionable, but I think spending years on death row is a bit extreme. And think of all the sick people, the homeless people the money wasted on these lowlives could help if put into health and social care of people who actually deserve a chance to live.
How do people end up where they do? I mean, if you are born a Royal or a Kennedy, well that's just a horrible defect of birth, innit, but if you are a poor kid from the wrong side of Nowhere, how do you get to become someone worthy of going down in the annals of history (even if it's just for going down).
Noteworthy or notorious, Fate deals some interesting cards sometimes hmmm. I mean, how did you get where you are?
:: Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Pull
What is it about males that all they want to do is pull?
They pull the wool, they pull things apart, they pull dumb stunts and all sorts of shit and when they get older they pull themselves.
Today Adam pulled shit on Deena and got told by me to do the pulling he isn't so good at, pulling his head in or I'd drive up to Auckland and pull him out of his trip to Oz on Saturday.
I hope he got the message. I didn't leave much room for misunderstanding.
They pull the wool, they pull things apart, they pull dumb stunts and all sorts of shit and when they get older they pull themselves.
Today Adam pulled shit on Deena and got told by me to do the pulling he isn't so good at, pulling his head in or I'd drive up to Auckland and pull him out of his trip to Oz on Saturday.
I hope he got the message. I didn't leave much room for misunderstanding.
:: Monday, December 12, 2005
Good shit
I may do nothing but shit, but the shit I do is good shit.
And the best shit is taking the piss shit.
Here's another one.
This one's called 'Christmas with Gordon". The only real bits in the pic are the tree and Gordon, and I'm not too sure about him, either.
I think that's about enough of that shit.
Reading: Some utterly forgettable trash novel set in Venice in 1464.
Listening to: UB40
And the best shit is taking the piss shit.
Here's another one.
This one's called 'Christmas with Gordon". The only real bits in the pic are the tree and Gordon, and I'm not too sure about him, either.
I think that's about enough of that shit.
Reading: Some utterly forgettable trash novel set in Venice in 1464.
Listening to: UB40
:: Sunday, December 11, 2005
Against the wind
When I was a kid, I had no ambition to go anywhere or do anything specific. When I was a teenager, I figured I had my whole life to find some ambition and go places.
In the words of Bob Seger, "wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then".
Perhaps if I had, I wouldn't have just finished packing my kids bags for the first leg tomorrow of their Big Adventure overseas without me, because if I had known then what I know now, at least I could have made an informed choice about the things I did and the places I went and my kids wouldn't, at 12 and 14, be going off overseas without me and doing things I never did and can no longer hope to do. Just one more shitty gag in the Great Cosmic Comedy Roadshow.
20/20 hindsight - the final kick in the groin when Shit Happens comes to visit and never goes home again.
In the words of Bob Seger, "wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then".
Perhaps if I had, I wouldn't have just finished packing my kids bags for the first leg tomorrow of their Big Adventure overseas without me, because if I had known then what I know now, at least I could have made an informed choice about the things I did and the places I went and my kids wouldn't, at 12 and 14, be going off overseas without me and doing things I never did and can no longer hope to do. Just one more shitty gag in the Great Cosmic Comedy Roadshow.
20/20 hindsight - the final kick in the groin when Shit Happens comes to visit and never goes home again.
:: Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Buy the gross
If you liked Gordon as a fridge magnet,
you're gonna love him as a toilet roll.
There's two flavours available - one for sensitive skin
and one for the tough guys
Next I think I'll make him up as a reindeer. Just cos I can. He can be the Christmas rolls.
you're gonna love him as a toilet roll.
There's two flavours available - one for sensitive skin
and one for the tough guys
Next I think I'll make him up as a reindeer. Just cos I can. He can be the Christmas rolls.
:: Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Anecdotally
I read on the internet (you know the 'Internet that Never Lies' one) that in days of old, sailors didn't know how to swim because they considered it would only prolong the inevitable.
That kinda makes sense, if your brain is warped and twisted like mine.
If my leg doesn't stop burning soon I'm gonna go drown myself in the river and quench that bloody flame. But you can't grill me and have your big piss-up until March, cos then U2 can play "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" or "In God's country" or better still "Running to Stand Stil" at my funeral.
Of course they'll do it; I'm a famous published blogger with a readership of over 3; a Legend in My Own Mind.
OK, not much over three.
Shut up.
Besides, I bought tickets to see them, didn't I?
That kinda makes sense, if your brain is warped and twisted like mine.
If my leg doesn't stop burning soon I'm gonna go drown myself in the river and quench that bloody flame. But you can't grill me and have your big piss-up until March, cos then U2 can play "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" or "In God's country" or better still "Running to Stand Stil" at my funeral.
Of course they'll do it; I'm a famous published blogger with a readership of over 3; a Legend in My Own Mind.
OK, not much over three.
Shut up.
Besides, I bought tickets to see them, didn't I?
:: Monday, December 05, 2005
Got Vertigo
Tickets to the St Patrick's Day U2 concert went on sale at 9 this morning. I trundled my butt up to the Post Shop at 6.30 but there was only one person waiting, so I came home again for another coffee and sort the kids out for school. When I went back at 7am there was still only 2 people waiting, but I settled in anyway cos third in line looked like a damn fine place to be.
At 8.30 they let us in and started taking booking details to speed things up at 9 when the booking office was available and everyone was very excited at being so close to having a ticket for The Big Event.
Then at 9 when they logged into the Ticketmaster system, it crashed.
It crashed at most of the other outlets as well. The phone lines were overloaded, the computer system was frozen and a fax came through at 9.20 that the general admission seats were all but sold out and those wanting the Reserve seating (like us) would have to use the phones or the website to get any of the tickets left available.
We all went home.
I was a bit glum and txt'd poor Flatty that we had missed out, knowing how damned disappointed he was gonna be but decided there was nothing to lose by hitting the 0800 number and the website bookings anyway, so phone in one hand and mouse in the other (no hand free to hold a coffee, dammit) I started redialing and refreshing as fast as my little fingers could go. And 35 minutes later, I was into the website and very glad I had pre-registered a couple of weeks ago cos I had 5 seats booked and paid for in no time flat.
OK, so they aren't the $199 Reserve A seats we wanted, but they ARE $130 Reserve B and so we are still sitting down, and all is right in my world.
Well, until the next mini-crisis looms.
Go MEEEEE!!!
:: Sunday, December 04, 2005
Just another Tui advert
My first entry in the new weekly TMTECH fun photoshop/graphics competition
Yeah right.
Yeah right.
:: Saturday, December 03, 2005
You know it's nearly Christmas
:: Friday, December 02, 2005
42
What is 42?
It's:
21 x 2
7 x 6
Deep Thought's Ultimate Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything
and how old I will be at 10.20pm tonight
Go ME!
Now that the important shit is mentioned, you can see other not so important shit that happened on this auspicious day :-)
Go on, knock yourself out.
It's:
21 x 2
7 x 6
Deep Thought's Ultimate Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything
and how old I will be at 10.20pm tonight
Go ME!
Now that the important shit is mentioned, you can see other not so important shit that happened on this auspicious day :-)
Go on, knock yourself out.
Radio HaurakiClassic Rock that Rocks
LIVE FEED
Recent Meanderings
Endnote
Wheels within wheels
WOTD - Fig
Revisiting
The Times, they are a'changin'
Pavillions
Chilly calamari
Calling Gordon Shumway
Night Moves
Git on in there
Inner spaces...BOP Flood 2005
Outer spaces...
National MS Society
Project Gutenberg
Knight/Lomas
NZ Histories
Eyewitness to History
The Human Marvels
Smithsonian Institution
BBC - Ancient History
Blardy Amazing
20Q.
John Cooper Clarke.
Spacing out at...
WOW Infinity
NEW Really Stuffed
the flatcattery
rollertrain
Secret Diaries
myboyfriendisatwat
NEW The World of Yaxlich
when atomicans go wild
Intrepid Adventures
of Wile E. & Craig
reasons you will hate me
gramyre, on having MS
rAnDOm randomness
NEW Thing to make U go hmmm
Rachel's story
sick puppy award goes to...
Peter Pan
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Some content included in this site has been liberated at (and from) great peril from the internet. Where possible, credit or a link has been given or is marked as "Unknown", except for jokes - I don't make up jokes. All other content comes straight from the Brain of Moi. I reserve the right to retain ownership of my own drivel :-)
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